


to start anew.

by aridinosnore



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: 2018, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Fluff, Happy New Year!!, New Years, Some angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-01
Updated: 2018-01-01
Packaged: 2019-02-26 05:07:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,534
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13228695
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aridinosnore/pseuds/aridinosnore
Summary: a year is rough. the end of it sounds like a relief when it’s only the beginning of something new.just some reylo for the new year!! happy new year to all!





	to start anew.

**Author's Note:**

> hi guys! im just taking a little break from updating growth because I’ve really found no motivation to write chapter ten aha. I will though!! I promise. I just need to finish it. but I had an idea in my head so I quickly wrote it and I love it. happy new year and enjoy!

“Oh fuck— what are you doing here?” The high-pitched, yet strangely familiar, voice chirped from behind him.

Ben turned around and peered over his shoulder, his gaze was hard in case he turned to find a former hook up of his that he had, yet the persona faltered. His eyes scanned the woman quickly, hoping to not draw attention to his current act and get his ass kicked.

Again.

His lips tugged at the corners to form a smirk. He never knew what that smirk did to her.

“I could ask the same about you,” he replied shortly and took a sip from his flute glass. A soft awe of satisfaction left his lips as he leaned himself against the balcony railing, the common burn of alcohol on his throat. The cold material of metal was somewhat soothing to his flushed red skin, despite the fact it was nearing the edge of 12 degrees Fahrenheit.

The younger woman standing in front of him didn’t seem to stand the cold either. If she did, she hid it well. Her arms were exposed for the fact that she was adorned in a [gold mermaid gown](https://goo.gl/images/6eXaZ1), it’s straps were merely an inch or so wide and the dip of the dress ended just centimeters above her cleavage. It was simple. And after the past year, he knew the simplicity of it suited her.

An unladylike snort emitted from the younger woman and he assumed it was an answer to his blunt response. Rey fingered the glass in her right hand, the lights from the party occurring inside the building sparkled against the crystals of it. Ben noted that it was filled halfway with the signature Sex on The Beach she always seemed to order.

He remembered ordering it for her one night. It felt like years ago.

“You know why. I’m friends with Finn, you know his situation with Poe, Poe works here, and you—,” she stopped and frowned slightly, her stained lips curving downwards as her forehead creased. “Your company is hosting this party, right?”

Ben nodded and smiled amusingly, he loved to see her features twist and turn into various expressions he had longed to see. The only one he had managed to remember so far was her expression of pleasure.

“Right,” he confirmed, pushing himself off of the railing and stepped closer towards the younger woman. Rey’s breath smelled of alcohol while his smelled of the former cigar he had been smoking. A sigh barely left her lips. She thought he had quit.

“So,” She drawled out yet her gaze was fierce, it held that ever loving spunk of hers that had first caught Ben’s eyes. “Been fucking other girls, I assume?” Rey hadn’t meant for a tone of dejection or for her voice to crack, however she seemed to fail herself as it did just that.

Ben watched as she averted her gaze from his own, the tension growing through them just as quickly as it always came whenever they were merely inches apart. He hadn’t realized his effects on the younger woman ever since the night he left.

The night he had left with a close of the door, her naked body sitting up, using the duvet to cover herself as if he hadn’t seen it before.

The night he left and told her shortly, his voice still gravelly from the intimate moments they shared before. “This was a mistake.”

And then he had been gone.

But now— God, now it was utterly different and his heart sped up as Rey’s hazel orbs finally looked up to meet his. He tried to read them. He tried to look through her and understand what she was feeling during these moments. However, he learned that he no longer could. She had built a defense so strong to keep him out and who could blame her?

“No, actually I uhm— I haven’t.” There was a stutter to his sentence and it caught Rey’s attention, her eyebrows arching on instinct because Ben Solo _never_ stuttered. He somehow never showed a sign of vulnerability or weakness.

Only around her did he fail.

“That’s a first,” she muttered and she swore that his lips curved to form a grin, but it had disappeared just like the pounding of her heart.

“Why are you out here?” Ben finally asked after a few moments of silence, they had moved to be side by side as they looked over Times Square. The numbers of people and the crowd below seemed like a whole sea. It was breathtaking yet somehow claustrophobic even if you weren’t down there yourself. It was the pull against your heart as you heard the loud cheering of people as they anticipated the new year. Ben had to admit that it was one of his favored things about the holiday.

“I wanted to get away from things,” Rey confessed and glanced over at him, only to find that he was looking at her. She cleared her throat and continued. “I didn’t want to feel so… overwhelmed?” Her voice rose in a soft squeak as she shrugged her shoulders, it was usually what she did when Rey simply couldn’t find the correct words to explain herself.

And damn, Ben could relate.

“Why would you feel overwhelmed?” His voice held a tone of genuine curiosity and it took Rey aback. Why was this asshole, millionaire, shithead suddenly so concerned about her own thoughts when he was the one who had walked out on her?

“It’s all very new to me,” Rey started and she inhaled sharply, the bitter chills made her nose tickle and scrunch up. “I’ve never really celebrated the new year with other people.” Her accent had the older man entrapped as she conversed with him. It had been months ever since they had talked to one another.

But he knew. Rey didn’t have to explain herself because he knew. He knew about the foster homes and the runaways and the newfound family. He had once been a part of that until his career got the best of him. Until his stereotypical life got the best of him. It had been a mistake, he told himself everyday. Not her.

A minute of silence passed between the two and Rey finally turned to him, her elbow leaned against the thin metal of the balcony to face him and look up at him. To face one of the answers she had seeked the past months that fluttered by to a new year.

“What went wrong that night, Ben?” The sound of his name rolling off of her tongue in that British accent which had slowly began to fade away as time went by— God, he loved it. The way that one syllable left her lips and danced on the appendage he had used to suck on during their lustful nights.

The man pondered the thought, articulating an answer that wouldn’t have his ass kicked. His mouth opened up to finally give her the answer she wished to have. No matter if it were hurtful or not. She needed to know.

He was stopped short at the loud sounds of numbers being shouted at the top of people’s lungs, both from the crowds below them and the party behind them. Rey’s face brightened up as she craned her head to find the large screen that showed the numbers flying past, counting down to the new year that was yet to come in ten seconds.

_Ten._

_Nine._

_Eight._

Ben looked at her sheepishly and shrugged, it was the only thing he was able to do at that moment because he was finally going to tell her. He was finally going to admit to Rey that he was merely a coward that night and wanted her back, no matter how much he didn’t deserve it.

After all, wasn’t it just casual sex? Was there any love between them at all?

_Seven._

_Six._

_Five._

“I hate you,” Rey managed to breath out and there were no words exchanged about the decrease of space between them. They were inches apart, the tip of their noses almost touching agonizingly. Her almond shaped eyes glanced up at his own dark ones, the same ones she’d wish to see again and resented at the same time.

_Four._

_Three._

“I know.” Ben answered, his voice barely above a whisper over the loud voices of the crowd in Times Square. It was nothing compared to the hushed music from inside of the building, his coworkers and guests counting down along with the large television, flashing the numbers in a blur as everybody anticipated the new year of twenty eighteen.

Was it anything special? Possibly. Did it feel different? If you believed in it. Was it worth it? Yes.

_Two._

_One._

They pressed their lips together but it was nothing like before. It wasn’t hasty and it wasn’t filled with lust. It didn’t share a heat between them as they pushed and pulled at one another, grabbing at articles of clothing just to simply get them off.

It was nothing like that.

It was one filled with hope. An exchange of hopefulness and longing. A question. An answer.

_“Happy New Year.”_


End file.
